Clybourne (Theo Frorer-Pinis) has an ax to grind in Nightmare Dollhouse (photo by Vanessa Lopera — JOCO Med)
NIGHTMARE DOLLHOUSE
Teatro SEA @ the Clemente
107 Suffolk St. between Rivington & Delancey Sts.
Daily through October 31, $45 GA, $60 VIP
nightmarenyc.com
As I recently wrote on Substack, I love being scared. And the best scares can leave me in stitches even as they make my skin crawl.
Every October, haunted houses and other frightening attractions come to New York City. Two of the most fun are Nightmare Dollhouse and TerrorVision, both of which had me roaring with laughter — solo, alas, as I couldn’t persuade anyone to join me. My only complaint: At about only twenty minutes each, they are way too short; I was ready for more chills and thrills.
Intended for groups of no more than six people at a time, Nightmare Dollhouse is the latest frightfest from Psycho Clan, purveyors of such fine fare as Full Bunny Contact, Santastical, and last year’s Nightmare: Gothic, all held at Teatro SEA @ the Clemente on the Lower East Side. Presented with ETR Ventures (Escape the Room), Nightmare Dollhouse is a haunted doll museum where dolls come to life — or, perhaps more truthfully, rise from the dead, jumping out at you from nearly every direction. Pediophobes, beware.
You can do that voodoo that you do so well to a frightened captive in Nightmare Dollhouse (photo by Vanessa Lopera — JOCO Med)
Before you enter, you will be asked what is okay with you and what is not — for example, light touch — and how to get out if it’s all too much for you. I was ready for anything and everything as long as they could assure me my head would still be attached to my body at the end.
You first meet a sweetly deranged Raggedy Ann, who leads you into a room filled with cases of classic dolls, including Chuckie, Slappy the Dummy from Goosebumps, and Talky Tina from the classic Twilight Zone episode “Living Doll” with Telly Savalas. (I did have to explain to the ill-fated attendant that it’s “Talky Tina,” not “Talking Tina,” as the signage said.)
There’s a different scenario in each room with unique surprises, ably embodied by Kirsten Freimann, Lily Natal, Theo Frorer-Pinis, Ozzy Angulo, Asia Valentine, Gwendolyn Torrence, Red Reine, Scott McPherson, and others in a rotating cast. The cool troupe was willing and able to improvise as I interacted with them and nearly laughed my head off several times, especially at the fabulous finale.
Beware of a young woman (Gwendolyn Torrence) offering you tea in Nightmare Dollhouse (photo by Vanessa Lopera – JOCO Med)
A clown and ballerina (yes, there is a clown) reminded me of another TZ episode, “Five Characters in Search of an Exit,” in which Rod Serling introduces, “Five improbable entities stuck together into a pit of darkness. No logic, no reason, no explanation; just a prolonged nightmare in which fear, loneliness, and the unexplainable walk hand in hand through the shadows. In a moment, we’ll start collecting clues as to the whys, the whats, and the wheres. We will not end the nightmare; we’ll only explain it — because this is the Twilight Zone.”
The same can be said for Nightmare Dollhouse, which was written and directed by the one and only Timothy Haskell (The Rise and Fall, Then Brief and Modest Rise Followed by a Relative Fall of . . . Jean Claude Van Damme as Gleaned by a Single Reading of His Wikipedia Page Months Earlier), with creepy production design by Paul Smithyman, sound by Zoe Stanton-Savitz, lighting by Yang Yu, costumes by Brynne Oster-Bainnson, and video by Charnelle Crick, all of whom deserve kudos for making me laugh so satisfyingly from start to finish.
All aboard for a dark journey into TerrorVision (photo by twi-ny/mdr)
TerrorVision
Horrorwood Studios
300 West Forty-Third St. between Eighth & Ninth Aves.
Through November 5, $41.70-$69.50
facetheterror.com
Co–artistic directors Will Munro and Katie McGeoch and executive producer Dalton M. Dale follow up last year’s Terror Haunted House, set at the Bedlam Institute, with TerrorVision, another haunted house in Times Square, this one promising you will “live screaming your nightmares.” Munro and McGeoch cut their teeth with Six Flags Fright Fest, so they know their way around chills and thrills.
The premise is that visitors are auditioning for a role in the new horror film by Bobby Castle, who is seeking his next muse. There are three levels of fear: General admission offers “the standard level of scary, heart-pounding fun,” the Chicken ticket comes with “a special amulet to become ‘invisible’ to the monsters,” and Ultimate Terror “ensures you’re targeted throughout the experience.” I chose Ultimate Terror and went through it alone.
One of the main props is an old television showing nothing but static, a throwback to the sets on which I first saw The Twilight Zone (in reruns) and such horror flicks as the 1935 Werewolf of London and, later, Bad Ronald, Burnt Offerings, and Trilogy of Terror, back when we had only channels 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, and sometimes 21, all of which shut down shortly after midnight, leaving us with scary test patterns, the National Anthem, or eerie static.
Upon meeting Mr. Castle, I asked him how his cousin, William Castle, was. He said, “Ah, you know Billy? How is he?” I responded, “Feeling a little tingly these days.” (William Castle was the legendary director and producer behind such low-budget marvels as House on Haunted Hill, 13 Ghosts, and The Tingler, which featured a vibrating Percepto! electronic buzzer under some seats; he also produced Rosemary’s Baby.)
As I made my way through some twenty thousand square feet of rooms, each with different scenarios and props, dozens of ghoulish characters (there are 140 actors total) jumped out of windows and doors and approached me threateningly from around dark passages. One decrepit woman was trying to find her baby. A zombie was looking for a lost loved one. A sexy creature attempted to entice me into a small space. A woman munched out on some fresh innards.
I loved every second of it. And I couldn’t stop laughing.
I wasn’t laughing at the production; I was hysterical because, like Nightmare Dollhouse, it was so much fun.
And funny as hell.