Filmmaker Ondi Timoner says goodbye to her father in Last Flight Home
LAST FLIGHT HOME (Ondi Timoner, 2022)
IFC Center
323 Sixth Ave. at West Third St.
Opens Friday, October 7
212-924-7771
www.ifccenter.com
www.interloperfilms.com
Filmmaker Ondi Timoner and her family say goodbye to their beloved patriarch in the remarkable Last Flight Home, an honest, deeply human example of how we face death. At the age of ninety-two, Eli Timoner, husband, father, grandfather, friend, boss, and patient, decided that it was time for him to die. “I’ll always be looking down on all of you. Help me go there and end all this agony,” he says from his bed in his California living room.
Eli had spent the previous forty years partially paralyzed, having suffered a debilitating stroke at the age of fifty-three shortly after getting his neck cracked by a masseuse. Because of his disability, he ended up losing his business — he had been the president of Laura Lee Candy and later founded Air Florida — but still managed to put his three children, Rachel (a rabbi), David, and Ondi, through Yale.
The Timoner clan very carefully follows California’s End of Life Option Act, which specifies a fifteen-day period in which the patient goes through a series of medical tests and legal requirements that will allow him to die with dignity, in this case at home surrounded by family. During this time, friends and relatives visit Eli, in person and online, as it is February 2021 and the Covid-19 pandemic is raging. Most of these meetings are warm and happy; everyone is extolling Eli’s life, not mourning his coming passing.
Even as his body fades, his mind is still sharp as he shares memories, tells bad jokes, praises Joe Biden and Rachel Maddow — Eli is a fiercely dedicated liberal — and ponders regrets that haunt him. He gives words of wisdom to his children and grandchildren, who let him know how much they love him and how important he will always be to them, and he returns the love. “You give love, you get love,” he advises one of his grandsons.
“To know this is coming is a luxury,” Ondi says to the hospice nurse, Candice Carsey, and they take full advantage of that, putting together a farewell list, reviewing Eli’s obituary with him, and arranging for the burial plot and funeral. Two-time Sundance winner Ondi (We Live in Public, Dig!) was not initially planning to make a documentary about her father and his passing; she set up unobtrusive cameras to capture the events for herself because that is what she has always done, how she processes things. It wasn’t until her sister asked her to make a memorial video for a Zoom service that she realized the treasure trove of material she had amassed honoring her father’s life. Serving as writer, director, photographer, producer, and editor, Ondi intercuts archival material, including family photographs, home movies, and clips of Eli’s business successes. Her partner, Morgan Doctor, composed the moving score.
As the days count down to March 3, 2021, the viewer feels as if they have become part of the Timoners’ extended family, gaining understanding of the various characters and feeling their pain and love. The film goes beyond cinéma verité or fly-on-the-wall witnessing; it’s a privilege to be invited into what is normally such a private, personal experience. Death is something everyone has their own relationship with, but Ondi turns her father’s passing into a communal gathering that celebrates life as well as dying with dignity.
“Long time since I felt your warmth. I’m so glad to bathe in it,” Eli tells his former daughter-in-law, Felicia Park-Rogers, as they say goodbye to each other. With Last Flight Home, we all get to bathe in the warmth of an ordinary yet extraordinary human being.
Last Flight Home opens October 7 at IFC, with Ondi Timoner participating in Q&As with special guests following the 7:15 shows that night (moderated by Amy Berg) and October 8 (moderated by Sandi DuBowski).