Not even a pretty cool cast can save Stallone actioner from being expendable
THE EXPENDABLES (Sylvester Stallone, 2010)
Opens Friday, August 13
www.expendablesthemovie.com
Sylvester Stallone’s action thriller THE EXPENDABLES coulda been a contender but instead turns out to be, well, expendable. Sly, who cowrote, directed, and stars in the film, gathered an impressive all-star lineup, including Jason Statham, Jet Li, UFC champ Randy Couture, pro wrestling icon Stone Cold Steve Austin, kickboxer Gary Daniels, Eric Roberts, the one and only Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, and, most excitingly, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Unfortunately, Willis and Ahnold are in but one brief scene, the plot has more holes than a game of Whack-a-Mole, the testosterone level can practically be seen oozing off the screen, and the audience spends much of the movie wondering whether Stallone has had any eye work done. The violent picture is filled with major explosions, an endless supply of bullets, hard-to-believe hand-to-hand combat, ridiculous car chases, and big-time stunts that serve more as show-off set pieces than necessary scenes to advance the story, although there are some pretty cool weapons that blow bad guys’ heads right off in a bloody splatter. (Keep a sharp look-out for when Hale Caesar, played by Terry Crews, shows off his shiny blade with his last name on it because, yes indeed, he misspelled it.) Oh, and as far as story goes, it involves Barney Ross (Stallone) getting hired to eliminate a rogue CIA operative (Roberts) who has taken over the small South American country of Vilena, running drugs and killing anyone who gets in his way, with Ross determined to save the sell-out general’s (David Zayas) beautiful, rebellious daughter (Giselle Itié). THE EXPENDABLES wants to be THE WILD GEESE meets THE GUNS OF NAVARONE via SPACE COWBOYS mixed with THE WILD BUNCH and DOGS OF WAR, but it turns out to be more like THE NOT REALLY THAT DIRTY HALF DOZEN meets THE WILD GEEZER HOGS by way of BANANAS (in which Sly himself played a small part as a subway thug). Ah, what could have been…