Who’s the circumcised private dick that’s a sex machine to all the chicks?
THE HEBREW HAMMER (Jonathan Kesselman, 2003)
Available on DVD
www.thehebrewhammer.com
Sure, to some people holiday movies mean IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE, MIRACLE ON 34th STREET, and A CHRISTMAS CAROL, but for us it’s the one and only HEBREW HAMMER. Adam Goldberg (SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, A BEAUTIFUL MIND) stars in this riotous low-budget laugh-fest that is as hysterically politically incorrect as possible. Goldberg is Mordechai Jefferson Carver, a “circumcised dick” who is hired by the Jewish Justice League, headed by Bloomenbergensteinthal (Peter Coyote), to save Chanukah, which Damian Claus (Andy Dick), Santa’s evil spawn, wants to destroy forever. The Semitic Stud gets help from Mohammad Ali Paula Abdul Rahim (Mario Van Peebles), head of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front, and Bloomenbergensteinthal’s sexy daughter, Esther (Judy Greer), who is a “nice piece of tuchus.” This is one funny self-described Jewxploitation flick that will bring knowing chuckles and guffaws to anyone who has ever attended Hebrew school or has an overbearing mother.