SANTACON

No, it’s not some bizarre Invasion of the Body Snatchers gone terribly wrong. Every year around this time, thousands of men and women dress up as Kris Kringle for the annual Santacon, wandering through the streets, piling into bars, and taking over other city territories, all decked out in their red-and-white gear (and it must be the full costume, not just a hat). The 2011 edition begins Friday night, December 9, when the starting point will be announced on the official website, with the festivities all set for Saturday. You might want to know the facts of this self-described “non-denominational, non-commercial, non-political, and non-sensical Santa Claus convention that occurs once a year for absolutely no reason” either because you want to take part or, maybe, are seeking to do your very best to avoid this surfeit of Santas. Participants must bring at least two nonperishable food items with them, which will be donated to the Food Bank for New York City, and they must follow the very specific rules, which include “Tip your bartenders or rot in Santa’s douchebag hell for all eternity” and “Obey the law. Even open container laws. Even traffic laws.” And feel free to download the XXXmas carol book, featuring such holiday favorites as “Frosty the Cokehead,” “Huff! The Nitrous Angels Sing,” and “O Come All Ye Perverts.” (You might want to leave the kids home for this one.)